The Baby Adventures of the Akatsuki
by Marufuji
Summary: What happens when the Akatsuki suddenly turn into babies because of a cheap cereal Kakuzu bought? Since Tobi overslept, Sasori doesn't eat, and Leader had coffee, they will take on parental responsibilities! It starts out slow, such as the first chapter.


Disclaimer: I definitely don't own Naruto, and if I did, Sasori would be alive.

Author's Note: This is more of a slow story, at times focused on detail instead of the actual plot, so I definitely don't appreciate flames. If you read a chapter, please review, and tell me what you think. I'm only going to update this if I get reviews.

"..." indicates dialogue

'...' indicates thought

* * *

Depending on what your definition of 'normal' would be, it had started out with a normal, average, natural, orderly, ordinary, and regular day in their Akatsuki headquarters, as most of the members at the moment would be rousing, and beginning their day, down at the kitchen. One by one, they would be hesitating to stumble into the kitchen, as where they seated themselves uncomfortably, shifting and rocking, back and forth at an unstable, chipping and peeled wooden table, which none other than Sasori made for them, for Kakuzu insisted not to waste their money. 

Their leader of the Akatsuki, at the end of the table, his eyes ran all over his daily newspaper, taking a sip of his coffee Kisame made for him. "Pffft!" the Leader expelled his steaming coffee out of his mouth, splattering it all over who sat close to him, who was none other than Itachi. "Kisame, I told you! Pure black, no milk or sugar!"

Itachi remained speechless, behind that emotionless face of his, he longed to strangle him, whether he was leader or not. He simply removed it off with no problem with a napkin, and continued to politely eat his cereal, while glaring at Kisame. It was unlike Itachi to eat cereal, and for the rest of the Akatsuki too.

Kisame gave a soft grunt, too exhausted to say anything at all; he could even let himself go head first in his cereal. His eyes were drooping, as he was attempting to rub his irritated eyes, he made himself even wearier. His mouth hung open unattractively, gazing at his bowl, with cereal pieces floating about.

While Hidan well, he attempted to offer up his bowl of cereal to his Jashin, and perform one of his rituals in which he impales himself through his chest, but that was not so successful, while Kakuzu wanted him to be 'normal,' and eat breakfast like a 'normal' person.

As for Kakuzu, he did not mind eating his cereal at all, whereas it tasted worse than the box it came it, as long as he saved money.

Let us just say Zetsu and the unknown member were on vacation; a very long vacation.

Now where would be our favorite Tobi, Deidara, and Sasori, you ask?

* * *

Clothes were sprawled in heaps, thrown about carelessly in the room, so badly that it appeared as if they had been crumpled up for ages without being ironed, or washed. Whereas an abundant of clumps of clay were stuck all over in the room, scattered about in the room, in places you would forget about them, then get some stuck on the bottom of your foot, possible for the clay to be somehow stuck on the ceiling. 

Close by was a wooden table, obviously there were screwdrivers and screws of course, maybe a saw or two, but there were more injurious tools with faint bloodstains, a few slim vials of poison, extracted from scorpions, while there was a worn-out cabinet, full of empty bottles, and pots. Against the peeling wall, rested an unfinished puppet, just missing its left arm.

"Sasori…Danna, un…" someone had mumbled groggily, diving under the covers, and gestured an abnormal hand for the awoken missing-nin to leave him alone, "Why are you awake so early…un…?"

The awoken missing-nin stepped closer to him, and snatched his blankets forcefully, to reveal his partner in a chaotic fashion. "Deidara…" His partner, a specialist when it came to clay, was extremely disorganized. He was in an unattractive fashion; Deidara's mouth hung open, drool trickling down, and his loose blonde locks stuck up in bountiful angles, while his visible azure eye was slightly open, and he was in a pair of pink boxers adorned with rainbows. "Deidara…" Sasori murmured softy, then he bellowed, "DEIDARA! GET YOUR ASS UP RIGHT NOW OR ELSE, I'LL TAKE YOUR CLAY AND STUFF THEM IN YOUR MOUTH-MOUTHS WHATEVER, AND DOWN YOUR THROAT, IF YOU DON'T WAKE UP THIS INSTANT! GO DOWN TO BREAKFAST!"

"Hai…I'm awake, Danna, un…" Deidara softly muttered, and then drifting off down to the bathroom. He staggered to his feet, before making his way awkwardly, but clumsily. With a trip, he managed to fall flat on his face, by tripping over, due to a punitive vengeance of a clump of clay.

He stepped closer to his reflection in the mirror, and rubbed his irritated eye to prevent himself to see things. There was just his mere reflection, looking back at him with drooping eyes, his undone, disorganized blonde locks stuck up in an abundant of angles, and his mouth that hung open unattractively, with drool trickling down.

Deidara cupped his abnormal hands underneath the running water, before splattering the bitter, chilled water onto his face. Giving an abrupt gasp, as it bitterly, harshly woke him up, he took the right sleeve of his Akatsuki cloak, and wiped his face unhurriedly. Doing so, thoughts had beginning to submerge into his mind.

* * *

Descending farther, and deeper into the corridors, was a pink-blushed door, with a peeled nameplate, adorned with a few poorly drawn flowers, reading 'Tobi'. 

"Tobi is a bad boy! A bad boy!" he exclaimed frantically, removing his weighty spectrum of blankets, all of them at least with a design of curved rainbows, dashing unicorns, endlessly floating clouds, assortments of flowers, and more ridiculously 'happy' objects.

Under that mask of his, he did a double take, and glanced at his clock, as he was obviously late. "Tobi overslept…" he muttered rapidly, "Zetsu-san told Tobi to never to be late! What if he eats Tobi?"

His walls were adorned with horrifyingly 'happy' objects.

* * *

"A little bit of cereal left for you," Kisame murmured, as he handed Deidara a practically empty cereal box. 

"Aa...You bought cereal that doesn't even have a name, un!?" the Iwagakure missing-nin exclaimed, so careless not to read the small print on the bottom of the box.

"Blame Kakuzu."

Deidara seated himself on an unstable, wobbling chair, and began his breakfast, eyeing his bowl of cereal suspiciously. His spoon simply, swirling around in the milk. 'I'm going in, un.' As he raised his dull spoon closer to his mouth, he had paused for a moment. Then, he forced it in his mouth, as he did, he let his spoon descend into the milk. His visible eye had widened, and when he opened his mouth to speak, nothing would come out.

"…un…?" he squeaked, slouching onto the chair. It appeared he was descending deeper, and deeper onto his chair. 'Why is everything so…big, un? No, wait! Everything isn't big; it stayed the same, but I became…small…?"

He patted his head to find that he did not have a pony tail, but short hair in the back, and he still had his blonde hair draped over his left eye. His Akatsuki cloak was enormous, so enormous that he could explore it.

Deidara had struggled to reach for the cereal box, but when it did, he turned it over to read the small print. 'They should really put that in big letters.'

'Warning: May have side effects, such as suddenly turning younger!'

'Un…I think I turned into a baby...so what happened to everyone else, un?'

Today was definitely, not a 'normal' day.

* * *

Author's Note: That isn't much of a cliffhanger. 


End file.
